I get emails all the time asking if I have any advice for beginners. I never personally know who sends me these. I know nothing about them. I don’t know their age or the depth of their experience so far. Other than relating to my own experience, it’s very difficult to just start typing into the wild blue yonder. Crossdressers are not made from a cookie cutter. I have found out that each and every one is completely different. Some are just panty wearers. Some are in to formal wear. Some want slutty and nasty stuff. Some dress for sex. Some way more desire to be very feminine and desire to be a female with no interest in sex, and on, and on, and on. I can only say that for me, I very much enjoy being Janet. I am not offended if someone calls me sir. I prefer ma’am but I do not expect everyone to understand this thing. I have found that until I got my breast implants, life at large as a cross dresser was very difficult.
Before I got my breast implants, I would sometimes get laughed at. That hurt me so much. I remember one time I went to the mall, one of those three story malls. I was on the third floor on the open area where you can see all the way up and down. There was a winding walk way that went all the way around from the top level to the main floor. I came out of MAC Cosmetics and was going to walk this runway all the way down to the main floor. When I came out of the MAC store there was this black man. He spotted me and began laughing out loud. He continued laughing as I walked all way around and down this very long walkway all the way down to the bottom level. And as I got farther and farther away from him he got louder and louder, laughing and pointing. Soon everyone was looking at me. Some others started laughing too. Oh, it was horrible. I began crying and I could not stop. My makeup started running down my face. I ran out of the mall, got into my car, and cried all the way home. This was the worst experience of my crossdressing career. I used to shop at the Express store in the same mall. All the sales people in there have these little headsets so they can talk to each other. When I would go into the store when the first one would spot me they would all get on their head sets and whisper about me. I could see the person all the way across the room turn his head and look for the crossdresser in aisle three. Soon they would all be staring, sometimes looking at each other with little giggles.
I remember that the first thing on my agenda after I got my breast implants was to go back to that store. And I did just that. Right after I got my implants, I was a bit swollen and that made me at least a full cup size larger, so I was huge. Also my tits were up real high so I looked like a porn star. So I put on this loose men’s jacket, sloppy men’s blue jeans, and in my purse was my wig and make up. I went shopping in the store and picked out the most revealing top I could find. It had two thin straps over the shoulder and very little to cover the tits. I picked out a pair of hot pants that fit so tight they looked like they were spray on. As I was shopping in the store with my arms full of women’s clothing, the head phone thing got going real good. I was sure everyone in the store saw the man picking out the women’s clothing. After I was sure everyone saw me, I asked one of the attendants for a fitting room. I remember she had a smug look on her face as she opened the door. I rushed to put on my makeup and wig. This was the first time I saw myself made up with my new tits. OMG. I just could not believe how hot I looked. Like a porn star with those barely covered huge tits. I remember thinking to myself: holy shit, what have I done. When I came out of the dressing room you could’ve heard a pin drop. You could see the totally shocked look on EVERYONE’S FACES. I was having the time of my life. The girl ringing up my order was so nervous that she forgot to charge me for the clothing I was wearing. She was trying so hard to make it seem like she did not notice. Her hands were shaking and she was stuttering. Oh my god, it was hilarious. So afterwards, I continued shopping in the mall to see how things were going to go. I got a few stares, but they were more like good stares.
For me, everything changed after I got my breast implants. Passing is much easier. I do not totally pass because of my voice, and after all I am a man. My voice, my bow legs, my man’s walk, my shoulders, my Adam’s apple, my man’s hands and the bulge in my pants all relate me to a man. Even though I got my name, social security card, birth certificate, and driver’s license changed to female, I am, and will always be, a man. I am proud to be a transsexual or crossdresser. I fully accept who I am. I like being the individual, Janet. I’m a frequent customer at a lot of places like Lowe’s, Home Depot, the music store, the Credit Union, and numerous restaurants. I am so well received by these places. I know that when I go into these places everyone will want to say hi to me. When I walk through Home Depot everyone says hi to me by my name. Hi Janet. Hi Janet. In many ways I think I am received as a celebrity. I really do feel loved by so many people who I don’t even know. It’s strange, but people want to be my friend. I have to always be on my guard, though. I have to be that smiley, happy person all the time. I can’t go into the store in a serious mood totally concentrating on what I came there for. I have to have my head up high and notice everyone as I walk through and give them a smile and a head nod. People like to be noticed and receive a nice smile and nod from me. I know I make them happy. They kind of come to expect it from me. So I always have to be on top of my game. I can’t have a bad day and show it.