12-11-2022, 12:14 AM
Greetings to all! I am intrigued and excited to be here as I officially begin my journey exploring my gender identity. For a number of months when I was 12 or 13 years old, I dressed using some of my mom’s clothes, her make up, and a wig she never used (all taken without permission or knowledge) whenever I had a chance (basically when no one else was in the house). I thoroughly enjoyed the experience and felt sexy, beautiful, and alive whenever I was able to indulge. At some point, though, I returned everything, closed the door on those thoughts and feelings, and locked everything deeply away. Between a veiled, passive-aggressive, subtly phased comment or two from parents, my own fears of being “caught,” and not having any place or anyone that might allow me to sort out what I was experiencing, it seemed a much better path to fall in line with societal expectations for a good boy who followed rules and acted “responsibly.” And, to a large extent I have had a productive and successful life — friends and family that care about me, a job I loved, an amazing daughter, and an incredible life partner who has been my wife for 32 years come June of 2023. But, I also know that something has always being missing/slightly “off” in the way I have experienced the world. For the past year and a half or so, I have found myself thinking more and more about my experiences dressing as a woman when I was a preteen, as well as exploring things on the internet focused on male to female transformations. On top of that, using FaceApp, I just a chance to see what I might possibly look like as a woman. As those thoughts and feelings continued to build, I made the decision to exploring them in earnest over the past week since my wife and sister were in Florida and I had the house all to myself. While at first I was merely using FaceApp and YouCam Makeup to consider things, I soon begin looking for ways to emulate breasts and even made a poor attempt to apply some of my wife’s makeup. All of that lead me to purchase my own bra, foundational garment, tights, breast enhancers, and a couple of costume wigs as well as filling a couple old nylon stockings that my wife never uses with rice (to use as makeshift breast forms). As soon as I put those things on, I knew that I needed to begin honestly exploring my gender identity by at least cross dressing at times at home. My wife and sister returned today, and I have already begun the discussion with my wife. I am blessed that she is incredibly supportive and fully understands the magnitude of me sharing with her things that I have never told anyone before. At the same time, I know she needs time to process her own feelings and emotions about all of this. I know that we have many conversations ahead of us, and I know that I love her and remain sexually attracted to her (and women, in general), so I am confident that we will find a way for me to begin this journey while maintaining a healthy relationship. I am incredibly grateful that my exploration of things this past week brought me to Janet’s Closet, and I look forward to learning from and learning about everyone here. I am also tremendously excited to begin spending some money here once my wife and I have a clearer picture as to how things will progress. As I have perused the site, I have found myself unnerved how overjoyed I am at getting things like my own makeup, high heels, women’s clothing, breast forms, etc now that I have given myself permission to explore cross dressing. That elation, as unsettling as it has seemed at times, is also how I know that allowing myself to do this is one of the healthiest, life-affirming things that I have ever done. Janet, thank you for creating this store and this community! Cheers! I am sharing one FaceApp image pairing if for no other reason than to serve as inspiration for myself to start learning how to apply makeup well enough to make me look half as good as FaceApp can.
Cheers and kisses,
Mikayla
Mikayla
