Scary Interaction Today

[JodieLynne]

So, at work today, I stepped out on my break to have a smoke and rest my feet.
Some guy walks up to me and out of the blue, asks "Are you a man or a woman?"
From 3 feet away, I can smell the booze on him, and I suddenly think "Oh shit, this is when & where I become a victim, or a defendant!"
I tell him that I am living my life as a woman, while running options in my head. My heart is pounding.

His next question is even more alarming, "So, you had your dick cut off?" Now I stood up and took a step back, watching his hands. I replied, "That is a very personal question and is none of your business! Now please leave me alone!"

It got worse and he wouldn't stop. "So, you take it up the ass, right?" I didn't respond.

He was between me and my path back into the store. He was about 5' 10", maybe 260, 280 pounds. I was worried that if this turned ugly, I would have to seriously hurt this man. I'm a NYC girl, I don't fight fair, and I will strike to maim. I happen to be 6' tall, and only weigh 140 pounds.

He persisted, asking if I was wearing a wig and tried to grab my hair. I grabbed his wrist and twisted, hard, thinking that is going to be really bad since it has progressed to a physical level.

I was so relieved when two of my male co-workers showed up, one being 6' 4', the other built like a wrestler! "Jackson" (not his real name) asked me if everything was OK, I shook my head "NO" and said so out loud. He stepped up, grabbed the creep by his shirt and slammed him into the wall of the building. "Jackson" then told the creep to get off the property, while "John" stood there cracking his knuckles.

Jackson released the creep who scurried away, far away, very quickly.
When the creep was gone, I sank onto the bench, a complete wreck. Adrenaline coursing through my body, I was shaking and crying. One of the guys got the Manager, who sat with me, calmed me down, and asked if I needed someone to drive me home.

I told him that I couldn't afford to miss the time and pay, he hugged me round the shoulders and said "I got you covered. Come inside, calm down, and then go home. OK?"

I sat in the break room for about 40 minutes, trying to get myself under control. I had a lot of support, we're not a huge store, and everyone knows me, and my co-workers seemed to stream in offering me comfort. I deeply appreciate that.

I gathered my stuff, got in my car (with an escort!) and drove home.

I'm still shaking

[Alana W]

Damn I'm glad you made it out of that one safely!  Any one of those ignorant shitbirds would absolutely crumble if they did ANY kind of personal reflection on why they're so concerned with the genitals, preferences, mannerisms, and style of others. Truth is, though, in the moment and drunk they are just going to be the broken hateful lost whelp of a culture that has been fueled by abusive toxic masculinity for generations.

Take a breath; as scary as that shit was, it's gotta be worth it to be who you feel you are. And also major big-ups to your coworkers for getting your back.



If you need some musical encouragement, check out the punk band  G.L.O.S.S. (girls living outside society's shit), and if you need to laugh, I suggest you tube-ing the show 'UNHhhh' hilarious random humor with Trixie Mattell and Katya Zamolodchikova. 

You're worth it, don't let the weak bullshit of others define you!

~AW

[Tinacdoh]

So, at work today, I stepped out on my break to have a smoke and rest my feet.
Some guy walks up to me and out of the blue, asks "Are you a man or a woman?"
From 3 feet away, I can smell the booze on him, and I suddenly think "Oh shit, this is when & where I become a victim, or a defendant!"
I tell him that I am living my life as a woman, while running options in my head. My heart is pounding.

His next question is even more alarming, "So, you had your dick cut off?" Now I stood up and took a step back, watching his hands. I replied, "That is a very personal question and is none of your business! Now please leave me alone!"

It got worse and he wouldn't stop. "So, you take it up the ass, right?" I didn't respond.

He was between me and my path back into the store. He was about 5' 10", maybe 260, 280 pounds. I was worried that if this turned ugly, I would have to seriously hurt this man. I'm a NYC girl, I don't fight fair, and I will strike to maim. I happen to be 6' tall, and only weigh 140 pounds.

He persisted, asking if I was wearing a wig and tried to grab my hair. I grabbed his wrist and twisted, hard, thinking that is going to be really bad since it has progressed to a physical level.

I was so relieved when two of my male co-workers showed up, one being 6' 4', the other built like a wrestler! "Jackson" (not his real name) asked me if everything was OK, I shook my head "NO" and said so out loud. He stepped up, grabbed the creep by his shirt and slammed him into the wall of the building. "Jackson" then told the creep to get off the property, while "John" stood there cracking his knuckles.

Jackson released the creep who scurried away, far away, very quickly.
When the creep was gone, I sank onto the bench, a complete wreck. Adrenaline coursing through my body, I was shaking and crying. One of the guys got the Manager, who sat with me, calmed me down, and asked if I needed someone to drive me home.

I told him that I couldn't afford to miss the time and pay, he hugged me round the shoulders and said "I got you covered. Come inside, calm down, and then go home. OK?"

I sat in the break room for about 40 minutes, trying to get myself under control. I had a lot of support, we're not a huge store, and everyone knows me, and my co-workers seemed to stream in offering me comfort. I deeply appreciate that.

I gathered my stuff, got in my car (with an escort!) and drove home.

I'm still shaking

Wow That's Terrible G/F Hope You Ok 

[Sara69]

I’m glad nothing bad happened to you and your safe!!
Crazy, stupid world we live in.

[CanuckGirl]

Well I'm certainly glad you are alright, physically anyway, and that honestly the creep is too. As that could lead to other headaches for you. Though he certainly got less than he deserved.
That's a fear a lot of us have of course, someone spots us and thinks it's their duty to do something bad to us. Something my wife used to worry about when I first started going out femme.

I've never had anything like that happen to me, though I am aware it can happen. Canada is good and accepting place to live but like anywhere there are those who want to strike out at someone who is different.

It must make you feel good that you have the support of your coworkers, which is what you need to hold on to so you can get over this. Though we are not there in a physical sense for you have the support of us girls here.
Amy

[1Ladyjade]

God that is a scary situation. Glad your co workers had your back. That's a nice reassuring feeling knowing they are there for you. As for that creep you can tell where his mind set was. Some men think because we dress femme we must want a man. Unfortunately we will never rid the planet of that type of mindset. So we have know how to deal with it and having a few friends on your side always helps. Be careful out there ladies. Make sure if your not in a safe place you have good company with you.

Jade.

[JodieLynne]

Thank you, ladies, for your support and encouraging words.

When you are out en femme, it's not a question of "if" you meet a homo/transphobic person, but rather "when". 

I've been extremely lucky in the 6 years I've been out & about as a woman, it was bound to happen and I'm very glad I had friends nearby.

I've had awkward conversations with 'muggles' before, but it was mostly because they didn't know how to phrase their questions, rather than from a place of hostility.

Hell, the first time one of our vendors saw me (an older German man), he came up to me and said "So, you're a girl now?"  I turned, pointed my 36 D's at him like cannon, smiled and said "Yes".  He just nodded and said "Good for you. You're pretty"

After he left, I asked my manager who he was, and she replied "Who?  Karl the creep?  Watch out for him, he likes to get touchy."

Mostly though, my interactions with the uninformed have been pleasant, even if they ask their questions awkwardly.  And I am always eager to help educate them.  I've always said that: "Humans fear what they don't understand, and they tend to destroy the thing that they fear." 

As cornball as it may sound, I feel like an Ambassador for the Trans community.  For the majority of folks in my area, I am the only flesh & blood transperson that they have encountered.  I feel that it is my responsibility to correct the misconceptions about us.  

"No lady, I don't spend 2+ hours a day getting presentable in order to seduce your little boy.  Your man, however, keeps checking out my ass, AND he's kind of cute.  You might want to be more worried about HIM than me."

"No Madam, I'm not in the Ladies loo because I want to gawk at your wrinkly worn-out gash, I'm here because I need to pee!"

"No dude, I'm, NOT trying to 'trick' you!  FFS, I'm 6' tall, have clown sized feet, and I'm pretty sure that what is in my panties is bigger than yours!"

The above are some of the things I'd love to say but would get fired for. LOL

[Suzy]

Thank you, ladies, for your support and encouraging words.

When you are out en femme, it's not a question of "if" you meet a homo/transphobic person, but rather "when". 

I've been extremely lucky in the 6 years I've been out & about as a woman, it was bound to happen and I'm very glad I had friends nearby.

I've had awkward conversations with 'muggles' before, but it was mostly because they didn't know how to phrase their questions, rather than from a place of hostility.

Hell, the first time one of our vendors saw me (an older German man), he came up to me and said "So, you're a girl now?"  I turned, pointed my 36 D's at him like cannon, smiled and said "Yes".  He just nodded and said "Good for you. You're pretty"

After he left, I asked my manager who he was, and she replied "Who?  Karl the creep?  Watch out for him, he likes to get touchy."

Mostly though, my interactions with the uninformed have been pleasant, even if they ask their questions awkwardly.  And I am always eager to help educate them.  I've always said that: "Humans fear what they don't understand, and they tend to destroy the thing that they fear." 

As cornball as it may sound, I feel like an Ambassador for the Trans community.  For the majority of folks in my area, I am the only flesh & blood transperson that they have encountered.  I feel that it is my responsibility to correct the misconceptions about us.  

"No lady, I don't spend 2+ hours a day getting presentable in order to seduce your little boy.  Your man, however, keeps checking out my ass, AND he's kind of cute.  You might want to be more worried about HIM than me."

"No Madam, I'm not in the Ladies loo because I want to gawk at your wrinkly worn-out gash, I'm here because I need to pee!"

"No dude, I'm, NOT trying to 'trick' you!  FFS, I'm 6' tall, have clown sized feet, and I'm pretty sure that what is in my panties is bigger than yours!"

The above are some of the things I'd love to say but would get fired for. LOL

---

Thank you, ladies, for your support and encouraging words.

When you are out en femme, it's not a question of "if" you meet a homo/transphobic person, but rather "when". 

I've been extremely lucky in the 6 years I've been out & about as a woman, it was bound to happen and I'm very glad I had friends nearby.

I've had awkward conversations with 'muggles' before, but it was mostly because they didn't know how to phrase their questions, rather than from a place of hostility.

Hell, the first time one of our vendors saw me (an older German man), he came up to me and said "So, you're a girl now?"  I turned, pointed my 36 D's at him like cannon, smiled and said "Yes".  He just nodded and said "Good for you. You're pretty"

After he left, I asked my manager who he was, and she replied "Who?  Karl the creep?  Watch out for him, he likes to get touchy."

Mostly though, my interactions with the uninformed have been pleasant, even if they ask their questions awkwardly.  And I am always eager to help educate them.  I've always said that: "Humans fear what they don't understand, and they tend to destroy the thing that they fear." 

As cornball as it may sound, I feel like an Ambassador for the Trans community.  For the majority of folks in my area, I am the only flesh & blood transperson that they have encountered.  I feel that it is my responsibility to correct the misconceptions about us.  

"No lady, I don't spend 2+ hours a day getting presentable in order to seduce your little boy.  Your man, however, keeps checking out my ass, AND he's kind of cute.  You might want to be more worried about HIM than me."

"No Madam, I'm not in the Ladies loo because I want to gawk at your wrinkly worn-out gash, I'm here because I need to pee!"

"No dude, I'm, NOT trying to 'trick' you!  FFS, I'm 6' tall, have clown sized feet, and I'm pretty sure that what is in my panties is bigger than yours!"

The above are some of the things I'd love to say but would get fired for. LOL

---

Good for you! Your response was great to him. I have been hit on a number of times, but only in a non aggressive mode. Men just wanted to talk to me, which is flattering. I’m small, so I’m not sure what I would have done in your situation, but sounds like you handled it great! Good job! Suzy

[CanuckGirl]

Jodie;
You touch on a good point, and one I'm a lot more comfortable with now.
The better we "pass" the more invisible we are. I certainly like to pass and usually do, I think, but I'm also more comfortable with people seeing me as a transwoman than I used to be.
For me passing is not just about being invisible to the rest of the population and staying secure, but it's also about wanting to be female. I want to look like one so it affirms the feminine feelings inside of me.
However as people get more used to trans people in their lives they will realize we just want to be able to be ourselves, and that none of us have asked for this!

In this I'm using the term trans and transwoman broadly as I'm not full time femme and am not on hormones or other sexual reassignment treatments
Amy.

[JodieLynne]

I can't remember if I posted this before, but here is a video, produced by my company for Pride Month.
Hannaford's has been in the top 100 companies that support the LGBT+ community for the last 5 years
.  SPOILER:  It's me!

https://players.brightcove.net/430968064...6534370112

And I'm pretty sure I've posted THIS before, but it is worth repeating:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw30yjccnD4