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Newbie, about me
#1
I am sitting here at home, alone, my wife gone for a week. So, I get to dress. It is the first time in 6 months. I have a new blue bra, 42C, that I don't quite fill. Garter belt, black stockings and lovely blue sissy panties. I am feeling great, but sad and lonely at the same time. I wish I could share this side of me somehow. But, I am terrified. I am 66. I've been dressing since I was 8 and first tried on my mother's stockings (they were hanging on the bathtub curtain rod drying and felt so good to touch I just had to try them on). I have worn my mother's, my sister's, my wives' (yes 3), and purchased my own that I hide in the garage. And, I have spent enormous amounts only to throw things away in a panic. What is this life-long obsession? And why does my bra feel so good?
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#2
Welcome to the Forum, Tasha. You're among friend here. I can appreciate what you are experiencing. If you do some research, you'll find various theories about the causes of cross-dressing. I have an idea about why I do it. Still, I go through periods of accepting and rejecting my feminine side. I too have bought things only to purge them and regret it later. I enjoy the feel of my bras too. Why do they feel so good? I don't know. They just do.
Smile Stephanie 
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#3
(03-08-2019, 09:04 PM)TashaBDavis Wrote: I am sitting here at home, alone, my wife gone for a week. So, I get to dress. It is the first time in 6 months. I have a new blue bra, 42C, that I don't quite fill. Garter belt, black stockings and lovely blue sissy panties. I am feeling great, but sad and lonely at the same time. I wish I could share this side of me somehow. But, I am terrified. I am 66. I've been dressing since I was 8 and first tried on my mother's stockings (they were hanging on the bathtub curtain rod drying and felt so good to touch I just had to try them on). I have worn my mother's, my sister's, my wives' (yes 3), and purchased my own that I hide in the garage. And, I have spent enormous amounts only to throw things away in a panic. What is this life-long obsession? And why does my bra feel so good?


Tasha - welcome to the Forum . I am 64 years old , and I have always envied women their clothing ; the flirty skirts , their nylons , their stiletto-heeled boots , and their sexy little panties . I started building my wardrobe late 2016 . Two people know about me dressing " en femme " - my therapist and my best friend . I hope to be out of the closet after I am able to relocate . Take care and stay safe , Dawna .
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#4
(03-09-2019, 08:18 AM)Stephanie_G Wrote: Welcome to the Forum, Tasha.  You're among friend here.  I can appreciate what you are experiencing.  If you do some research, you'll find various theories about the causes of cross-dressing.  I have an idea about why I do it.  Still, I go through periods of accepting and rejecting my feminine side.  I too have bought things only to purge them and regret it later.  I enjoy the feel of my bras too.  Why do they feel so good?  I don't know.  They just do.

Stephanie, thank you for your sweet reply. It is nice to know I'm not alone. I wish I had the courage to reach out and share my feelings, history and desires with someone. I know there are support groups. Unfortunately, I am a professional and deal with many of the members in my professional role. I am just not in a position where I can share. I feel very alone.  But, again, I appreciate your note.

(03-09-2019, 12:20 PM)Dawna Wrote:
(03-08-2019, 09:04 PM)TashaBDavis Wrote: I am sitting here at home, alone, my wife gone for a week. So, I get to dress. It is the first time in 6 months. I have a new blue bra, 42C, that I don't quite fill. Garter belt, black stockings and lovely blue sissy panties. I am feeling great, but sad and lonely at the same time. I wish I could share this side of me somehow. But, I am terrified. I am 66. I've been dressing since I was 8 and first tried on my mother's stockings (they were hanging on the bathtub curtain rod drying and felt so good to touch I just had to try them on). I have worn my mother's, my sister's, my wives' (yes 3), and purchased my own that I hide in the garage. And, I have spent enormous amounts only to throw things away in a panic. What is this life-long obsession? And why does my bra feel so good?


Tasha - welcome to the Forum . I am 64 years old , and I have always envied women their clothing ; the flirty skirts , their nylons , their stiletto-heeled boots , and their sexy little panties . I started building my wardrobe late 2016 . Two people know about me dressing " en femme " - my therapist and my best friend . I hope to be out of the closet after I am able to relocate . Take care and stay safe , Dawna .

Dawna, your story is amazing. To start at 64. Wow. Congratulations. You have more guts than I. I wish you well on your journey.
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#5
Welcome Tasha!
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#6
Hi Tasha,
As others have stated, you are amongst friends here.  Many of us share similar backgrounds yet we are all unique too.  Many of us, myself included, experience fear of being discovered on different levels.  For some it’s fear of losing a job, for others it’s fear of losing relationships.  So we deal with our fears in our own separate ways.  Something caused you to panic and while we can offer our emotional support to you, ultimately it is up to you to figure out how to address that fear.  Why do we love to dress?  I think there are many answers to this depending upon whom you ask. I wish you peace and joy as you make your journey in dressing.
Heart 
Anne
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#7
Welcome Tasha
have been in your same situation(sort of, not married)
have purged the panty drawer a couple times but am still dressing (mainly underdressing in public) but always get full dressed when I can at home
enjoy while you can
the outfit sounds great

Hugs
Christie
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#8
(03-10-2019, 05:19 PM)pantygurl1963 Wrote: Welcome Tasha
have been in your same situation(sort of, not married)
have purged the panty drawer a couple times but am still dressing (mainly underdressing in public) but always get full dressed when I can at home
enjoy while you can
the outfit sounds great

Hugs
Christie
Thanks, Christie. I am doing what I can to make the most of my special time. It is odd though. When I do go out, I can't help the feeling that everyone knows and can tell. It is my bra strap? No, I can't see it, so...garter tabs, no again. Bulge at the top of my girdle? I don't think so. I just have too much belly. Maybe they see that little glow in side that says, yeah! I'm doing it.

(03-09-2019, 09:40 PM)Anne Wrote: Hi Tasha,
As others have stated, you are amongst friends here.  Many of us share similar backgrounds yet we are all unique too.  Many of us, myself included, experience fear of being discovered on different levels.  For some it’s fear of losing a job, for others it’s fear of losing relationships.  So we deal with our fears in our own separate ways.  Something caused you to panic and while we can offer our emotional support to you, ultimately it is up to you to figure out how to address that fear.  Why do we love to dress?  I think there are many answers to this depending upon whom you ask. I wish you peace and joy as you make your journey in dressing.

Anne, I appreciate your thoughtful reply. As I have now posted a couple other places, it is personally confusing to me. I don't get enough opportunity to explore who I am or to consider the full palette of my colors, so to speak. I have known many woman who have transitioned and they go through a kind of adolescence where they have to learn what it truly is to be a woman. When someone like me only gets to explore those issues in a concrete way for a week or two a year, the answers we get or conclusions we reach are incomplete. The result is unsatisfying and disappointing. 
Still, I am enjoying this. I am working, however, to figure out the source of what I can only call a huge sense of guilt. Is it because I have not been true to myself or I have not been true to those in my life? How can you feel guilty about not being truthful to those around you if you know they would reject you if they knew the truth? Still, these people are so important to me. 
It is not fear, but terror.
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