07-24-2013, 07:33 AM
I am actually really a woman, born a woman and live as a woman but recently fell for a gorgeous man who is a CD. I completely adore him and embrace the fact he CD. All my life ever since I was a little girl I did not understand why I was so attracted to other girls. At the time I did not know terms such as "homosexual, Lesbian, Tran-gender, Cross dresser , etc." I felt for most of my life that something was defective about me. When I turned 15 I heard the term "lesbian" and felt tremendous relief believing I had found the answer to many years of confusion and pain.
I dated women secretly for many years and even moved as far away from my family as I could so they would not find out and be embarrassed of me. Still, I wanted to be with men yet felt anxiety with them and rarely had successful relationships. The trouble was I was only attracted to men with effeminate features, long hair, soft voices, men who wore eye-liner or painted their nails. You can imagine how awkward and stressful it is to try and suggest to a "man's man" type boyfriend that you would like to see him dressed as a woman." All of these issues have led me to be very emotionally closed off from a honest and satisfying bond with a partner. I have felt unbelievable depression because of all of this until I happened to find a dating site that catered to people with "fetishes". I didn't feel like I belonged there either until I met the man I have been seeing. He was very honest up front and explained to me that he was a CD and it did not define who he was, it was merely something he enjoyed doing and it was a part of him that was never going away. ( for the record I was VERY relieved to hear he would never change!) He does not realize it but I felt a rush of relief and sense of belonging with him. Not in a clingy or possessive way, I just felt he understood what it felt to live with secrets and overwhelming shame. I am grateful for meeting him and for the relationship we have together. We have "date night " together where we shower, dress up and spend time together with him dressed as a beautiful amazon woman
It gave me a secret view into how a man must feel when he see's his lovely date come out of her house , ready for the evening and he knows she did herself up just for him! I Have never been happier and I joined "Janet's Closet" for the purpose of being able to give my partner an even fuller experience of being a woman... there is nothing nicer than receiving lingerie or new shoes than when someone else buys them for you 
I dated women secretly for many years and even moved as far away from my family as I could so they would not find out and be embarrassed of me. Still, I wanted to be with men yet felt anxiety with them and rarely had successful relationships. The trouble was I was only attracted to men with effeminate features, long hair, soft voices, men who wore eye-liner or painted their nails. You can imagine how awkward and stressful it is to try and suggest to a "man's man" type boyfriend that you would like to see him dressed as a woman." All of these issues have led me to be very emotionally closed off from a honest and satisfying bond with a partner. I have felt unbelievable depression because of all of this until I happened to find a dating site that catered to people with "fetishes". I didn't feel like I belonged there either until I met the man I have been seeing. He was very honest up front and explained to me that he was a CD and it did not define who he was, it was merely something he enjoyed doing and it was a part of him that was never going away. ( for the record I was VERY relieved to hear he would never change!) He does not realize it but I felt a rush of relief and sense of belonging with him. Not in a clingy or possessive way, I just felt he understood what it felt to live with secrets and overwhelming shame. I am grateful for meeting him and for the relationship we have together. We have "date night " together where we shower, dress up and spend time together with him dressed as a beautiful amazon woman
It gave me a secret view into how a man must feel when he see's his lovely date come out of her house , ready for the evening and he knows she did herself up just for him! I Have never been happier and I joined "Janet's Closet" for the purpose of being able to give my partner an even fuller experience of being a woman... there is nothing nicer than receiving lingerie or new shoes than when someone else buys them for you