Going out!

[Lynn]

I envy you shorter girls, and it does help in 'passing'.

I am 6' tall in my bare feet  ( which are ginormous, BTW, size 12 Men's ), my face is too long & angular, and thanks to genetics, wigs are absolutely always required!  I will never in a million years, completely 'pass' as a genetic woman.

But "passing" is as much mental as it is physical, if not more so.  You could be 5' 5" tall, with petite feet, but if you aren't comfortable, if you clomp around like a guy in heels, or if you feel and/or act like you are doing something wrong, you will never pass. 

If you dress inappropriately for the venue, wearing an evening gown, elbow length gloves, and 6" stilettos to Walmart, you WILL be clocked!

If you dress like a 'tween, and you are older than 20, you WILL be clocked!

If you are wearing an outfit that would make a hooker blush,  (say it with me! ) you WILL be clocked!

Far more important than clothing though, is your physical and mental presentation.

    "Mental Presentation???? WTF are you talking about, Jodie??????"

What I mean is how YOU perceive yourself when going out en femme.  Do you feel comfortable presenting as a woman in public, doing what women do?  OR, do you feel & act like a man in a dress, sidling and skulking about, like a person in disguise?

     If you behave like you belong, if you've studied how GG's move, dress and behave and can emulate those movements and behaviours; if you BELIEVE in yourself, you will pass.  Or at least, be accepted as who you present to be.

I aggree with you Jodielynn. I have one question however and do you have any heels you don't like or don't wear since it appears we have the same size feet. LOL

I still consider myself a newbie at going out and still get butterflies at times (like the first time I visited a biker/leather bar as Lynn recently ). So I don't want to sound like an expert on the subject. But the only way I get over doubting myself, to get over looking , feeling scared or "sulking around" trying to hide and go unnoticed as you describe it is to go out enough times and having successful, fulfilling experiences enjoying being the real me in public. If I ever have a "bad" experience it would be a rare incident I would handle the best I could and learn from it. However a rare incident is not going to overshadow or cause me to stop going out. The positive is overwhelmingly worth the negative possible risks of overblown fears that probably will never happen that I had developed in my mind.

I have started to get it through my mind that no one cares or pays any attention to you for the most part and are not staring and pointing at you etc... to out you or clock you as the saying goes. I have been told about but never encountered the few individuals that might get visibly/verbally upset over you and leave or move away from being near you or someone try to "save you" but these are far and few. In those cases excusing yourself politely is the best course of action then. I personally haven't experience either so far and I am going into my third year of being out in public. 

Also a reminder this is Covid time so wearing a mask is perfect, normal way to disguise ourselves and eliminate being recognized by someone who knows you only as male.  

If you act, speak and have a friendly smile and attitude like you usually would in man mode or a cis woman would present things you will  find regular people will be easy to interact with. Through the years even in the closet I observed and picked up sayings, phrases and words I have heard the cis woman around me , family , co-workers etc.. use frequently to communicate. I also picked up on mannerisms how they use their hands/arms to talk, how to stand when standing still with your body and feet postion. The more you know and use the feminine things people usually see from cis woman the more they are comfortable being around and accepting you.  Most people are to busy to pay attention to us and if you present like you have it all together and can't be rattled in your surrondings then they won't mess with you. 

Besides I can hold my own one on one and a guy wanting to pick a fight if it ever happens will get a reminder from me first. I'll ask/tell him that he will be getting his own bumps and bruises etc... even if he kicks my ass. So does he really want to go viral in this day and age and want to be recognized as getting it on with a man in a dress and heels or explain to someone how he got the marks of a fight? Then give him the suggestion we leave it alone and walk away. So otherwise we take it outside and take our chances as they say. I won't start a fight but won't back down from someone who will. Most bullies want to pick on the fearful, vunerable weak person to validate their self esteem and not take a chance on someone willing to fight back.