01-07-2020, 04:06 PM
Home alone for the afternoon, I put on my black bra and black silk panties and a clingy tee shirt and did some reading in a new Jan Morris book I bought. I raided the cabinet in the bathroom and put on some soft pink lipstick, powdered my nose and combed my hair down around my face. The look, in the soft natural light that flatters us older girls, was better than I expected; not so absurd at all.
I sat at the table in the kitchen and worked on the medical papers I have to fill out - cataract surgery on the 23rd, per-op meeting tomorrow. Then I remembered an errand I promised.
So I put on a loose, bulky sweater and a big loose windbreaker and set out for Meijers. Even in the car or walking normally, my chest moved around gently. Steering the car, reaching up the shelves, putting on the safety belts, I felt the swelling.
How can these simple sensations move me so?
I am writing a chronology, going back to my first experience of ambiguity at four years old. I'm "all the way" up to twelve with desires and impulses most little boys don't have. Yet there is not in sight a "rational" explanation.
I have been near despair over this situation, after finally figuring out what exactly I really am. I had given up my conditioning effort, but a new health issue requires an aggressive new weight loss and conditioning agenda. I will lose what naturally fills these cups right now and titillates me so, but the prospect of much further transformation is not so good anyway and pink satisfaction may have to remain an infrequent and mostly esoteric affair.
Love to all who love.
I sat at the table in the kitchen and worked on the medical papers I have to fill out - cataract surgery on the 23rd, per-op meeting tomorrow. Then I remembered an errand I promised.
So I put on a loose, bulky sweater and a big loose windbreaker and set out for Meijers. Even in the car or walking normally, my chest moved around gently. Steering the car, reaching up the shelves, putting on the safety belts, I felt the swelling.
How can these simple sensations move me so?
I am writing a chronology, going back to my first experience of ambiguity at four years old. I'm "all the way" up to twelve with desires and impulses most little boys don't have. Yet there is not in sight a "rational" explanation.
I have been near despair over this situation, after finally figuring out what exactly I really am. I had given up my conditioning effort, but a new health issue requires an aggressive new weight loss and conditioning agenda. I will lose what naturally fills these cups right now and titillates me so, but the prospect of much further transformation is not so good anyway and pink satisfaction may have to remain an infrequent and mostly esoteric affair.
Love to all who love.