Hello!

[Davina Stone]

I'm obviously new to the forum. I've been cross dressing for a few decades, and occasionally go out (sometimes passing, I think, sometimes being made). I live in a smallish town, so I don't go out a lot...plus my wife doesn't care for it when I do....
No time for makeup today, maybe another time and I'll update the avatar.
Davina

[Anne]

Hi Davina,
Welcome to the forum.   So glad to have you here.  Dressing for decades but only making an appearance on the Forum now?  Better late than never I say.  I (and all the ladies here) hope to chat with you again.

[Davina Stone]

Hi Davina,
Welcome to the forum.   So glad to have you here.  Dressing for decades but only making an appearance on the Forum now?  Better late than never I say.  I (and all the ladies here) hope to chat with you again.

Hi Anne, reading your posts you are always so sweet  . I just found Janet's closet recently, and I hadn't searched for an online community and then I found this one. 
I'm 65, so my decades include being found with mom's slip on when I was little (six decades back), swiping big sister's lingerie at adolescence (5 decades), but not getting my own things until maybe 20 years ago. Now that I'm retired I may step up my game a bit, but my dear wife prefers to hang with the boy she married 40 years ago, not the gurl whom you're getting to know. 
Thanks for being so welcoming.

[MichelleL]

Davina, the more the merrier. Yes, better late than never. At least for me, one second as a female is worth a lifetime as a male. Hugs, Michelle

[Davina Stone]

Davina, the more the merrier. Yes, better late than never. At least for me, one second as a female is worth a lifetime as a male. Hugs, Michelle

Thanks Michelle. I have seen that you're way farther down the road to femme than me. I don't know what that road may be going forward, but it I am happy where I am right now.
Davina

[Davina Stone]

I must add that I feel very safe in this space, even though (because?) there are many different flavors of trans people here.

[Anne]

I must add that I feel very safe in this space, even though (because?) there are many different flavors of trans people here.

Hi Davina...we CD's have to deal with a very unaccepting world out there.  So we create our very own accepting world here.  This is a community for helping and supporting each other.  It's the same as what we were told at a young age, "if you don't have something nice to say, then don't say it".  Now, if you want to critique someones's dressing or makeup (in a POSITIVE way....e.g. Davina, I think a pair of black pumps would go better with that outfit than those Maryjane's) that is fine, but we are not here to tear at each other's spirit.  We are not a bunch of mean gurls, here.  Anyone doing that will get the boot.   So we are glad that you feel welcome and accepted here.  BTW, you are not alone at having an unaccepting SO.   But it sounds like it's ok for you to dress...just not when she's around.  I'm sort of in the same situation but I wouldn't dare tell my wife about my dressing so I only dress when she is not around.

[Davina Stone]

That's correct, and thanks again Anne. I wear panties daily, she's OK with that, and she knows I dress when she's out without me but it bothers her. Something we need to work out as we go into our golden years.
Davina

[JodieLynne]

Welcome to the forums Davina! I hope that you make lots of friends, and we can answer any questions for you.

And something I'd like to address, and this is applicable to all the ladies:

DON'T worry about "passable", concentrate more on "blendable".

On all of my outings in girl mode, I am fortunate to have never had a bad encounter. It isn't because I "pass" . Hell, I'm 6' 1" in bare feet, and my 4" heels do make me stand out, plus, I have a face only a mamma Missouri mule could love. And my preferred scarlet tresses pretty much guarantee I am not going to fade into the background...

That being said, When I'm out and about, I dress like the other women. That means: NO evening gowns and tiaras at Walmart!  NO fishnet thigh-hi's, micro-mini and fuck-me-pumps at the supermarket (or the PTA meeting...), unless, of course, you WANT to be made.

Dress appropriate to the other women you see, and you should be fine out in the big bad world. Another point: DO NOT slink or slouch about, as if you are trying to hide. Be proud of your appearance, act as if you belong and people will respond accordingly. OK, a pet peeve: You will NEVER find me in sweat pants and sweatshirt. But girl jeans, capris, shorts, or skirts are fine.

On another forum, there are constant new threads from people who say they were 'clocked' at Target, or Walmart, or Victoria's Secret while in guy mode (sometimes girl mode). And it always comes out that they were acting guilty, or suspicious in their actions, instead of acting like any other shopper.

OK, so you are browsing the lingerie section of your favorite store. BIG DEAL! No one, except you, really cares.  Imagine being in the automotive section of the same store, and acting nervous, guilty, and skittish. People might think you were up to no good. Same for the ladies section: just behave normally. No one is going to call the gender police. Unless.... you are drawing attention to yourself by acting weird.


>steps off soap box< 

Enjoy the day!

[Anne]

I agree with everything JodieLynne says above.  My first time in public, I went to a coffee shop dressed in tight jeans, ankle boots, blouse and my wig and makeup.  I blended in nicely.  When I walked in the door, some heads turned just to look at who was entering but then they just went back to their own little private conversations.  I blended in nicely and was so relaxed when I was there.  I felt like any other soccer mom there.  Like Jodie says, if you dress inappropriately for your given social situation, you are going to draw unwanted attention to yourself.  If I had gone to that coffee shop dressed in a mini-hi bodycon dress, that definitely would have drawn unwanted attention in a bad way.  Have a great day everyone.